


In a world where everything keeps falling apart

by Romanadvoratrelundar



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alpha Carl Grimes, Alpha Negan (Walking Dead), Alpha Shane Walsh, Beta Lori Grimes, Bottom Rick Grimes, Carl is older than himself in the show, Dubious Consent, Forced Marriage, Forced Pregnancy, Forced Relationship, Hurt Rick, Hurt/Comfort, I'm not a native English speaker so please keep that in mind, M/M, Male Lactation, Mpreg, Omega Rick Grimes, Protective Carl Grimes, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rick gives birth to Judith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:08:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27136414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romanadvoratrelundar/pseuds/Romanadvoratrelundar
Summary: Male omegas are not considered as a proper man, not capable of being a proper husband or father. Male or female, omegas' role was simply to be claimed by an alpha and give birth to alpha children.Rick has been struggling hard to prove it wrong during his entire life. To be a more capable cop than any man for his hometown, good husband for Lori, and father for Carl.But after the world went to shit, all of these hopes seem to keep being destroyed one by one, in the most brutal way.First by his alpha best friend.Then with his son, his precious son who meant everything in his life, who later represented as an alpha.Lastly by the biggest and most horrible enemy in his life, who of course turned out to be an alpha.He starts to question if his struggling meant anything at all.
Relationships: Carl Grimes/Rick Grimes, Lori Grimes/Rick Grimes(minor), Rick Grimes/Negan, Rick grimes/Shane walsh(past non-con)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 186





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native speaker, and this is my first English fic so please keep that in mind before reading it.

"Don't... don't do this, Shane."

Because of the throbbing pain on his head and abdomen, Rick couldn't move properly. There were other bruises on his form from the previous fight.

There was only one way out of this, he realized.

So he pleaded, looking directly at his best friend's eyes, whom recently he argued a lot with, who also was currently on top of him and just moments away from strangling him.

Considering his alpha strength, Shane could kill him with this position right now, if he wanted to.

There were weapons thrown a few feet away during the fight. He just had to bid his time to reach them.

"There's still a way back from this. Nothing has happened here. We're gonna stand up from the ground, we're gonna walk back to the farm, together. Back to Lori, back to Carl-"

Suddenly Shane let out a broken laugh.

Rick stared up at him, confused.

"You still think this is about her, don't you?"  
"..What?" The confusion only grew, at the same time anxiety started to come out.

"Let me tell you right now, it's not about her. Or Carl. It's just about you, Rick. Always has been. She was just a connection-"

Rick suddenly got a feeling where this was going.

A whole new kind of horror and disbelief started to kick in his gut.

"-to feel you. It's you. All I ever wanted is you."

Said his best friend, who he had considered as a brother, who always watched his back not caring about his omega status. Or, that's what he thought.

"I always have, since we were kids. You needed an alpha to take care of you so I was there for you all the fucking time. Kicking off all the assholes who dare tried to touch you, shielding you from the ones who whispered behind your back. Just waiting for a right moment to mate. Then all of a sudden, you decided to run to a beta woman to start a brand-new life,"

Shane's voice gradually became threatening and furious, the hand holding Rick's throat tightening. Rick chocked a little.

"Like a fucking ungrateful slut you are!"

His mind was reeling.  
He had believed in Shane, thought he was the only one alpha who saw Rick as a normal man, not a prize to be claimed or an object of twisted lust.

It turns out he had been mistaken for all these years. During the entire time they had stayed at their friendship. Despair and betrayal engulfed his mind, but even that was not the most important thing in this moment.

There was some dangerous glint in Shane's eyes, intense and hungry. Exactly like the way an alpha would look at an unclaimed omega.

He had been mistaken for one more thing. Shane's intention was not killing him.

All of Rick's crisis instincts screamed at him to get the hell out of here.

"All those years I had to just watch you live like that. Playing roles of a powerful husband and father. But deep down you and I always knew that's not where you truly belong. You belonged to me. You were mine, Rick, not Lori's. You were meant to come under my roof, spread your legs for me and bear my children, not Lori's!"

Feeling nauseous listening to this, Rick started to struggle, but Shane grabbed his hair and slammed his head hard against the ground. Again and again.

Rick let out broken noises somewhere between whimpers and screams, then eventually went limp. The vision in front of him started to sway and he couldn't make a movement.

"Now, I'll do what I always had to do, as your rightful alpha."

The sound of opening the belt clicked. Then he felt his own jeans dragged down and completely taken off. The chilly air made goosebumps on his bare white skin.

No. This couldn't be happening.

Even in numbness owing to the concussion in his head, he desperately tried to move away as much as possible from this nightmare. But all he could do was just a little twitch of his arms and legs, which was easily overpowered by the alpha above him.

Two large hands grabbed both of his legs and spread them open. A warm, solid body came between and then something stiff, hot and impossibly thick pressed against his entrance.

Rick finally lost it.

"No.... no.....! Shane, PLEASE, NO!!"

He practically started to wail in a rugged voice, having no choice but to be an weak omega begging for mercy.

But the alpha simply leaned in close and whispered, voice dripping with desire.

"I love you."

Then he thrusted in.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane finally gets what he wanted.

  
"Fuck- Fuck Rick..."

Shane panted, moaned, and cursed Rick's name while thrusting wildly into the omega's limp body, over and over.

He was lost. The previous incidents with Lori were nothing compared to this. It was dull and aloof, both of them just merely seeking Rick's scent in each other. There was no heat or desire or any kind of passion.

But at this moment, he finally had Rick's body underneath him, real and breathing and smelling so right, better than any imagination in the pretending sex.

"God, baby, you feel so-"

Rick was so unbelievably tight, even more than his expectation. There was also a sign of blood which resulted from the initial penetration. He already knew this was Rick's first time being fucked by an alpha.

Normally, Shane couldn't care less about his partners' purities as long as they kept him satisfied, but this time it was different. Because this was Rick. The omega he have desired for a lifetime.

It felt so ecstatic, to be the one claiming his virginity. It felt so right.

Mine.

A possessive, nearly animalistic growl came out of his throat, alpha pheromones radiating from his body due to the excitement of sex.

Then Shane didn't suppress it anymore.

He leaned down and bit his omega's neck hard. So hard that the teeth easily broke the delicate skin, drawing blood out.

Rick cried out in pain and shock.

"Shhh. Shhh. It's okay, baby. I got you." He whispered, trying to soothe his omega, licking the blood off which tasted fucking delicious.

Shane knew it was so old-fashioned, primitive, downright bestial move, but he just couldn't stop until he marked and claimed Rick in every possible way. So the omega would have no choice but to accept him in the end.

In the middle of the thought, he abruptly stopped his thrust and started speaking softly, while still buried deep inside Rick.

"I know it will take some time, but eventually you're gonna come around to it. To this. I know you're, because you love me too. You just haven't realized yet."

Rick didn't say anything.

He just stared up at his once-best friend with a blank look, breath trembling.

"But don't worry, you can still be with Lori if you want."

Shane stated, as if he thought he was being generous.

"Though I don't like the idea of sharing, I understand it'd be not easy to just leave behind what you two have built for so many years. And we have Carl to think about too."

Rick closed his eyes tightly, the remaining tears streaming down his already wet cheek. He really didn't want to hear Carl's name in this situation.

"I'll continue to take care of you like I always have done. One day you'll eventually get to admit your true feelings for me. Lori will understand, Carl will understand. And everything will be a lot easier by the time when our child is born."

This time the omega's eyes shot open. His face turned deadly white.

He couldn't believe his own ears.

"You, you-"

Rick opened his mouth but could do nothing but stutter, eyes frozen on his rapist's calm face.

He thought he had already reached at the bottom of hell, but once again he was solely mistaken. There was no limit to the depth.

"You'll be a wonderful mother, Rick. Even better than Lori. I am sure of it."

No.

No.

Please.

Don't do this to me.

What have I done to deserve this?

Then Shane began the pace of thrusting into Rick's body again. This time his thrusts became determined and a lot deeper, aiming directly for the omega's womb hidden inside.

Rick started to thrash violently with the last reserve of energy, even the shock of the concussion completely forgotten, to tear himself away by any means from the alpha.

But Shane simply tightened his hold around the omega and even started to thrust harsher, rougher into the womb. As if punishing him for trying to move away.

"No- Ahhh- NO, NOO...!!!"

All the omega could do was howl and shake his head in desperate denial, trapped between the alpha's massive body and the cold ground, rocking helplessly. 

He felt like everything that consisted of himself was falling apart, piece by piece, until nothing but the dust was left in the end.

  
After a long while, Shane came inside Rick for the fourth time, his alpha seeds flooding into the omega's body.

By the time it was over, Rick's body was in a mess. There were bruises and trails of blood and his whole neck was covered in hickeys and bite marks. His belly was so full of Shane's cum that some of it trickled down his pale legs.

The sight seemed to satisfy the alpha enough. Shane reached down and started to kiss him passionately and possessively.

"I love you." The alpha whispered once again in the middle of kisses.

Rick felt numb. Nothing felt real anymore. The previous emotions such as fear, devastation, and anger- It seemed all of them were completely sucked out of him.

He just lay there like a broken doll, staring at nothing, waiting for whatever was the next.

Then, it happened.

A sudden, single gunshot sound rang under the dark sky.

He hadn't realized what exactly happened, until he felt warm splash of blood across his face.

Shane.

There was a blooded mess on the alpha's forehead, and he staggered a little, then collapsed on the spot right next to Rick.

There were sounds of footsteps approaching, rustling through the grass.

It was one single person.

Rick already knew the footstep pattern of everyone in his group.

And the sound was so familiar that it felt painful.

Rick let out a chocked breath. 

It was too late to cover up his abused body. The person was already a few mere feet away from here, having just witnessed everything laid out.

".....Dad."

A young, trembling voice resonated through his ears. The emotion behind it was not exactly fear, rather similar to the mixture of disbelief and devastation.

His son was there, a gun in his hand.


	3. Chapter 3

Lori recalled her time with Shane, when they had thought Rick was dead.

When they had been so engulfed in loss and despair that they had crossed a line, to seek comfort in each other.

Though she had felt no attraction towards the alpha man, she had just wanted to feel her husband's trace through someone who had been so close to him. It was unreasonable and unfair thought, she had known it, but sometimes grief makes people do stupid things.

She had no idea the exactly same went for Shane.

It was the moment she realized it when Shane shuddered above her, came, and cried out Rick's name. When he started to sob hard against her shoulder.

She wanted to talk about it after that, but he shut her down immediately.

And then Rick came back alive after a few weeks. 

In that first moment, the way the alpha looked at her husband... it made her feel uneasy, really.  
But after that he surprisingly kept his distance well, so she concluded it was herself being paranoid, and left it alone.

Even when Rick found out their previous, temporary affair and assumed Shane had feelings for her, she denied it but didn't tell the truth, tell him about the night. Because she didn't want to make things more complicated, and a small part of her felt bad for Shane. Cause there was no way he would have his feelings reciprocated.

After that, she just stood by and watched as the two men started to argue frequently, their relationship growing tense, and Shane growing angry-frustrated day by day.

Lori told herself that there's nothing she could do, it was a matter between the two of them.  
She simply continued to hope that things would work out eventually. 

What she didn't know at that time was the angrier Shane became towards Rick, the more obsessed the alpha became with him.

And how far that obsession could reach.

  
By the time she realized it, it was already too late.

When her son came back into the farm, her irreparably broken husband in his arms and Shane nowhere in sight,

Lori knew she would never be able to forgive herself for the rest of her life.

  
It took less than a day for everyone to find out what exactly happened.

It was mostly because of the medicine Rick pleaded for to Herschel the moment he showed up, like his life was depending upon it.

When he realized they didn't have what he needed, he immediately tried to go outside, to search for it.

He looked wrecked, his gait was uneven and weak, barely standing on his own without his son's help, but none of them seemed to matter to him then.

Surprisingly it was Carl who finally soothed him down. Persuaded him that he was in no condition to move, that they can ask someone else to go instead.

Daryl took the request immediately. Glenn joined in the next second. They left without a single word.

  
After a long and hard procedure of cleaning up and getting treatment, Rick had finally passed out on the bed.

He occasionally tossed and whimpered in his sleep, his whole body trembling violently. 

Then Lori was there to wake him up and cradle his head against her chest and pacify him, making him inhale her familiar scent and feel her soft curves.

He slowly calmed down and went back to sleep then.

But still when he was conscious, he flinched away from anyone's unexpected touch, fear and agitation momentarily showing and disappearing in his eyes.

Anyone's except Lori's and Carl's.

There were not many drug stores left nearby and the drugs for omegas had been rare except the heat suppressants, even before the world went to shit.

Daryl and Glenn traveled further and further across the land and came back later and later, but still didn't yield success.

Day by day Rick was getting close to a nervous breakdown. He couldn't eat much, couldn't sleep much, sometimes just stared at air while clutching his stomach tightly.

And then the worst thing possible happened.

Before Rick even got fully recovered to go out to search for the pill himself, one day their farm got attacked by a herd of walkers.

Jimmy and Patricia died, Andrea got lost during the escape.

After that, they had to start to wander around to just stay alive, anything else becoming a lower priority.

Some of the members still wanted to go find the drug stores but there were always obstacles in the way.

Sometimes there were too many walkers around. Sometimes one of them was severely injured during the process. Sometimes they had to find the shelter and food for others first. 

There always appeared the reasons.

It was one day, at the dinner time in the forest. The group all huddled together in a circle, fire in the center.

They each started to open the lid of can in their hands, exhausted and hungry.

The cheap smell of canned beans filled the air.

Then suddenly it just became too much. Nausea spread across Rick's inside.

He covered his mouth, turned around immediately and retched.

A dead silence fell.

Rick bent forward into the bush and continued to groan. He could feel everyone's gaze fixed on his back.

His eyes began to water, not just from physiological reaction.

Lori, who was sitting beside him all along, slowly approached and placed her hand on his shoulder.

When he made no reaction, her lean arms closed around his waist hesitantly, and she buried her face against his back. She kept silent.

He felt another figure approaching and two arms, slightly more solid and muscled than Lori's, hugged him from the other side. It was Carl.

Finally Rick couldn't suppress it, he broke down into a hopeless sob.

As the time had went by, he had expected this to happen in the end, but that didn't make him any less miserable now.

He sobbed harder and harder in the arms of his wife and son.


	4. Chapter 4

Thankfully before Rick's state developed visually, they found the shelter. It was a prison.

They succeeded in wiping out the walkers in a certain area and took their own cells. Everyone was happy at the moment.

However, after a few days they found out they were not the only survivors in the prison. There were some prisoners who had been hiding in the kitchen since the outbreak.

Since both group didn't trust each other, the atmosphere was a lot tense. To make matters worse, there was an alpha named Thomas, who noticed Rick's status in an instant and sneered at him.

He didn't seem to like the fact that some omega was bossing him around. So when he agreed to move to another section under the condition of assistance, and therefore in the process of taking the area, he pushed a walker onto Rick deliberately in the middle of battle. 

So Rick got out of the walker's grasp and put an axe on his skull. 

Suddenly he felt the urge to put a hand on his own belly, but resisted it.

  
After that, several months passed.

Rick was sitting on the bed him and Lori shared.

It had been three months since he went out on the last run. After that all he had been allowed to do was sit inside the cell or help others' indoor chores. It had been unbearable and suffocating, but he understood it was inevitable.

Herschel said that though the due date is five weeks from now, he should be careful at any moment.

He turned his gaze from the wall and looked down at his swollen belly. 

Since he was a male body with more muscles than females and this was his first pregnancy, it was merely a small bump. But to his eyes it was enormous. Too big to hide inside clothes. Too big to pretend that he was not what he was.

Omega. The word which sounded like a curse he cannot escape from.

-You needed an alpha to take care of you.

Shane's previous words still haunted his ears.

-You were meant to come under my roof, spread your legs for me and bear my children.

The worst thing about that rape was not the rape itself, but the person who committed it. That it was Shane. Who was one of the few people Rick considered as his ally.

Every countless moment when Rick was harrassed and leered at by other alphas during the work, Shane always jumped in and beat them to death, or shouted at to go fuck themselves, not caring about the suspension.

Rick thought they were selfless acts of friendship. By those behaviors, he had given Rick the hope. That there would always be at least one person in the world, who would take Rick's side.

But now Rick knew that all of those were for nothing more than marking his territory. To declare that this omega was claimed.

In retrospect all of these signs were so much clear.

Some voices inside his head started to whisper. You should not feel betrayed, because there was no friendship from the start. He saw you as his possession, not as his equal. You were just too scared of facing the truth. Scared of being left alone.

His eyes started to sting. He desperately suppressed the urge to cry, not wanting to feel any more weaker than he already was.

He really needed to stop thinking about Shane.

Suddenly a sound of footsteps echoed through the hall, approaching to this direction. Rick jumped and hurriedly wiped off his tears.

When he turned his head to the entrance, Carl stood there in the doorway.

He was about to take a step forward, but took one look at Rick's face and stopped immediately.

"..Are you okay?" Carl's voice was hesitant, and somehow heavy.

Rick cleared his throat and answered as calmly as possible, praying that he would sound normal.

"I'm fine."

Carl didn't seem to believe the answer, but said nothing.

Feeling thankful for that, Rick tried to smooth down the emotions swirling around him moments ago.

Carl just kept standing there, not coming any closer, silently staring at his father. His expression was unreadable.

By the time Rick calmed down, Carl opened his mouth again.

"I just wanted to inform you that today's run went well. We got several ammos and also some foods. Mom will explain the details later. Also, the dinner's at seven."

After finishing the sentences, he turned around to leave.

It had been like this these days. It almost seemed like his son was reluctant to draw near to him. It was subtle and there was no sign of anger, but Rick wanted to know the reason.

"Carl, wait."

His son stopped immediately and turned to Rick.

Sometimes it felt almost foreign looking at him. Despite the shortage of nutrients, Carl had been growing up fast during those past months.   
At the age of 16, he was almost as tall as Rick, and his features became more masculine.

He hadn't represented yet, but Rick assumed it's gonna be soon. Since Alphas were mostly born under the pair of alpha and omega, and Omegas were rare births, it was certain that he would end up a Beta like his mother.

On top of those he no longer needed Rick's guidance or assistance on handling guns and going out on runs. It seemed the world gave him no choice but to grow up early. It made Rick sad but also relieved, because that at least meant his son would survive well on this world.

"You... seem a little off lately. Is everything alright?"

Rick was afraid that his son's distant behavior might be because of him. That seeing his father in this state might have caused Carl distress.

There was a momentary shift on Carl's face. But it was gone as soon as it appeared.

"Just a little tired. That's all."

It was apparent that Carl didn't want to confide in him, so Rick had to leave it alone.

He felt the earlier depression start to come back. He knew he was being emotional, but decided to blame it on the hormones.

"Okay. Have some rest."

When the night fell, Lori returned to the cell. Rick noticed a few scratches on her skin, which had been in the cycle of healing and reappearing since she started going out on the runs with others. It had been a while but Rick's heart was still wrenched witnessing them.

Lori had changed after that day of Rick's first retching. One day she asked him to teach her how to shoot, and started to join on the short runs which were not too dangerous but realistic enough to build experiences.

Now she had become a fair shot and as skillful as Maggie at knives. It seemed she and Carl replaced his previous position together. He was proud of them, but on the one hand still felt guilty. That he couldn't protect them enough.

"How are you feeling?" Asking the sentence, Lori's eyes fell on his stomach.

"Not bad."

Rick couldn't help but recall the time when Lori had Carl. How anxious and happy he felt looking at her round form.

When Carl turned two, he sometimes thought about having another child, but didn't have courage to tell Lori. The budget was tight and they were already too busy with one kid.

He still hoped one day he could discuss it with her. To have more children, listen to their giggles when he was back from work, and watch them grow up together.

How ironic his wish became true in the twisted, grotesque way.

When they got in bed, he put an arm around Lori and buried his face in her hair, praying that everything's gonna be alright.


End file.
